Will Avatar change the standard of film?

So they say this movie is gonna change the way we watch movies?

Let me take you back, kids… To a Galaxy far far away, Err, wait a minute, that’s not right. Umm, so there’s this spaceship, right? And its mission is to boldly go where… umm, no, that’s not right either. Uh, ok… I got it! There’s this race of alien blue creatures, right? They reject technology, live off the land and are harmonious with the forest. And they don’t like humans… and we call them… Smurfs.

Well, in my day we called blue creatures hiding from humanity Smurfs, but in your day, we make them 10 feet tall and call them Na’vi. This is all part of the latest film by James Cameron. The movie, because of it’s technology and way it was made, not to mention the 3D effects, is being touted by the powers that be as a movie that will “change the way we watch movies”. That’s what THEY tell ya. But folks, Timmy Danger is here to tell you that we have to take Cameron with a grain of salt. After all, he DID give us Titanic. You remember Titanic, don’t you? Yeah… It was Star Wars for dumb girls.

Not that the movie is all bad. Actually it’s pretty damn good visually. It’s a lot of fun to look at but at the end of the day, it’s like Megan Fox in Transformers. Remember that scene where she’s lookin’ under the hood? Man, nothing looked quite so good as that scene. Then you know, she started talking and nothing messes up a pretty girl more than dumb words coming out of her mouth. I mean seriously, chick needs to read a book (and not Twilight).

It’s a harsh analogy but Avatar is like that hot chick with nothing to say. Scratch that, the movie has something to say… it’s just been said a billion times over already. The one thing Crutchboy (BG’s Creative Director) wanted me to NOT do was give away any spoilers… but folks, the movie’s pretty predictable. If you can’t predict what’s coming, maybe you should just rent Titanic, again.

The movie is a cross of Fern Gully, Pocahontas, and Dances With Wolves. Sad thing is, all those movies pretty much stand on their own. So all we have left to offer you, mainstream America, is this new technology that creates a digital world. Sounds impressive, but also expensive. I don’t think we will have much to worry about in the way movies are made. While it’s nice to watch, there is something to be said about traditional movies.

A common misconception is that I hated this movie. Nah, I rather liked it and I actually plan on seeing it again. I am a fan of the sci fi genre in general and it’s a beautiful film. I just think some stuff wasn’t well thought out. (Giant robot pulls a giant combat knife out. Man, that was so ridiculous I had to laugh out loud in the theater).

But seriously, man, making a claim like that will get you a punch in the neck. So far there are very few movies that have changed the industry. The only one coming to mind takes place in a galaxy, far far away.

Posted By Timothy Danger

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