My Kinect freaks me out…

It's watching you...

I’ll admit it. I fell for the advertising and the hype and asked for a Kinect for Christmas.

I’m a sucker for new technology and even with some of the bad reports I’ve heard in regards to the functionality of the Kinect, I just had to see the tech for myself. I was impressed with some of the things I’ve heard and seen with the Playstation Move but I just can’t get around the fact that the damn thing looks like a cross between a sex toy and a Blow Pop. I’ve tried and I just can’t do it. Every time I hold the Move, I feel dirty. But the Kinect… here’s a device that requires no additional equipment and looks pretty damn cool sitting in front of my TV. At least it looked cool until the first time I powered it on.

The best way I could set up the Kinect without buying any additional equipment was to place it on the entertainment center in front of my TV which puts it a little over two feet off of the ground. The first time I turned it on, the damn thing figured out where my hands were and then began to move.

No, it didn’t jump off of the center and start following me around but after it determined where my face *should* be, the whole damn thing looked me up and down with its three lifeless “eyes”. Once it had established how tall I was, it adjusted to the optimal view where both my hands and face were in frame while I stood approximately four feet from the device.

When I fired up the included game just to see what the Kinect could do, my Xbox advised me that I needed to move further back in order to have enough room to play. The fact that it knew I was standing less than six feet away is impressive in and of itself but that it knew when I was exactly six feet away basically disturbed me.

That’s when it started moving to make sure I was still perfectly in frame and when I moved back a little further, another quiet adjustment. That’s the bit that creeps me out the most. It’s not just following me with those three little eyes, it’s doing so very quietly and I can’t overcome the feeling that this little robotic “face” is moving to make sure it knows where I am at all times lest I sabotage its efforts to gain control of my home.

I watch it now as it watches me, watching it adjust to where I move in the room, it’s quiet little motor tracking me as I try to see if I can fool it into thinking I’m closer or further than I actually am. And no, I haven’t been able to fool it yet. Then there’s the fact that while I tool around with the “Kinect Adventures” game, the damn thing is taking pictures of me while I play… and captioning them with some scarily accurate descriptions of what I’m doing.

As if the watching wasn’t enough, I start playing with the voice activated menus and discover it is creepily listening to what I say, again with some scary accuracy.

I know it’s just a peripheral. I know it has no plans to kill me while I sleep, mostly only because it lacks the legs to get to my bedroom but as I watch the Kinect watching me, it’s very difficult for me not to associate some degree of sinister sentience to the device.

Maybe that whole Blow Pop sex toy thing isn’t such a bad idea…

Gritskrieg – End of Line

Posted By Gritskrieg

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