Duke Nukem Forever by 2K Games

Recently I was lucky enough to take part in the Gearbox release of Duke Nukem Forever. I remember this being the first computer game that I played as a young 8 year old gal. My Dad’s best friend had it on his IMB/PC , and each time we paid him a visit I would beg for him to let me get my game on. This assembly of my body and his computer convened regularly till I was 11.

It was no surprise to me that a new Duke Nukem was coming out this year. I was excited, thrilled and quivered with anticipation at the fact I’d get to be holding my stick hailing to the “King???, once again, but in 3D!!

I agree with those who say that the palpability that DNF actually made it to my local game store is an attestation of the industry’s insistence. I’m all about games in 3D, assuming they’re done in the style I can enjoy. Well, after being at the release party, and playing this game before the general public I stopped quivering and started groaning with disappointment. Really, I won’t be dazed if this game is definitely remembered as one of the biggest let downs of this year if not years. Let me break it down with the whys:

Controls:
Anyone familiar with shooter games should have no concerns with getting right into the game. The basic button employments are alright in regard to running and jumping, but the aiming pissed me off more than ever. There’s an obnoxious lassitude with Duke’s aiming. I’m not braggin; but I do well with shooters, especially well and tend to be accurate. Using Duke’s crosshair aim is pretty pointless and anesthetized. I found this out in just the first few minutes of the game.

Gameplay:
The game seems to take place maybe a decade later with the aliens back to have their vengeance by pilfering Earth’s [presumably] hot women. It’s pretty ridiculous and this storyline lost my interest quickly with my want to push forward to the next level.

Speaking of pushing forward; instead of progressing on from one stage to another, the shooting segments are copiously separated and had me roaming around aimlessly trying to find the next clue. I hate that, it turned boring, fast!

Busy Gamer Gamette Taffeta Darling

Again I found myself forcing the momentum. There’s some subjection to awfully long loading times when Duke runs out of his “Ego??? [HP] during fighting sequences. Not to mention the hiding and waiting for those health points to power back up. I thought the fact that Duke has to run and hide to wait for his “Ego??? to boost up was pretty lame, not so fearless. Now, there are some interesting [not so much enjoyable] skirmishes, including the bout with the Alien Queen, which again, is pointless and tedious. However; it does lead to an awkward and unsettling lap dance. The rest I won’t spoil, I’ll let you pick out highlights for yourself, if you make it that far.

Art Design/Graphic Styling:
Obviously they’ve jolted the graphics up on this version, but it no way stands on common ground with the likes of modern day shooters. It preserves the visual aspect of first generation xBox titles. It reminded me of a motion comic that had little variation to the maps. Even the Titty City of Las Vegas failed in detail, most uninspiring.

The voice acting isn’t too bad. I mean, I met the guy who does the voice and I totally got into his shtick. He has good energy and passion for the role. But alas, the over the top one-lines are either lifeless or in bad taste.

Moving on to bad taste:
When Duke accidentally kills a woman, he makes a remark which I thought was inappropriate and somewhat tasteless. There is another stage when Duke stumbles upon two ladies and they beg for their lives. Instead of saving them, he gives them a stupid explicit filled pun and watched them explode. I’m no prude and can play hard with the rest of the ballers but there is a point at which my liberal mind says “Just stop, dude???.

It is my opinion, and it is only an opinion; that Duke Nukem Forever is for neophyte gamers looking for mindless play. After 15 years of anticipation, hype and months of facebook posting; this game finally dropped and I’m totally sorry that I picked it up.

Duke Nukem has become his own lampoon and I can’t imagine this “relic??? being good for any era.

The Taffeta Darling
www.curvesandcomics.blogspot.com
www.thetaffetadarling.com

We get uber delighted when our past Gamettes are out covering gaming events, especially the major ones like this interview over at E3 this year in Los Angeles. Take a peek at Coin-Op Tv’s Hailey Bright (our Gamette of the Year 2009) interviewing Radical Entertainment’s Chris Ansell for Prototype 2. Good stuff, and keep your eye out for the return of the BG Crew at SDCC in July 2011. Pending court dates of course (just kidding, we’ve been good this year).

Thanks to Coin-Op TV for sharing this video from E3 with us, you can check out more of their E3 coverage here at www.coin-op.tv.

Meet our April Gamette, Lily!

We’re not the type of guys to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. We might make some recommendations about what games to play or what movies you might want to watch but we’d certainly never tell you specifically to do something.

We’re changing that policy right now.

We’re going to say that if you run across a woman who loves to WoW, dress up as a rogue in tight leathers,  has a healthy appetite for “teh sex???, watches sci-fi, and digs you, you latch on like a mynock on a high voltage power cable and you hold on tight. Seriously. If we find out you had a shot at a girl like that and you blew it, we’ll make a special trip to visit you and Crutchboy will punch you in the throat while you sleep.

Fortunately for you, we happen to know such a woman exists. We’ve talked to her and everything. Unfortunately, she’s taken which means her husband won’t be getting throat punched in his sleep by the Reckon Crew. See, he has the girl and he can sleep soundly at night. Take notes.

This is Lily, our April Gamette. Check out her videos on YouTube when you’re done partaking of her awesome pictorial and interview.

Let’s just go ahead and get this one out of the way… We noticed that you called some of your photos “Nelf” shots. We’re certain that was a typo so we went ahead corrected it to “Belf”. You’re okay with that, right? RIGHT?!
Lol. Well, it does seem that the majority of WoW entertainers are Horde. There seems to be very little representation for us Allies. I started out Alliance, and the majority of my toons are Allies, but I wanted to see what Hordies were like and have been playing a Troll Shaman lately. When I pvp on my Ally toons, I hate Hordies, but I assure you that when I am on my troll, I am hating those damn Allies.

Okay, so maybe you’re not okay with that. So why would you break our heart and play Alliance?
I had been going through a really hard time in my life. I was working way too hard, grumpy, and basically kinda hating life when one day “imma Be” came on the radio and I thought of “Imma Tree” for a wow parody. I decided I needed more fun in my life and I wanted to do something crazy and silly. So I decided, “What the Hell, I’m gonna do it”. I had so much fun making that video I just kept on going. I am still learning how to do all the things I want, but it has been one fun trip, lol.

Read the full interview & see the complete pictorial with Lily here!

The ladies were a hit with the crowd at Staple!

This past weekend, the Busy Gamer Reckon crew attended the Staple! Independent Media Expo. Hosted at the Marchesa Hall & Theatre, the Staple! Expo was held on Saturday and Sunday and is one of the favorites on the Crew’s list of events we visit, year after year.

The Staple! event was created by local Austin artists and saw a humble beginning as a congregation of like-minded individuals meeting in coffee shops to compare works, learn from one another, and generally just share their love of art. It has grown over the years to an event that spans two days, sees artists from all over the world attending, and has become the event of the year for new and established
artists to exhibit their works.

Staple! has seen some famous attendees and speakers (infamous in the case of the Crew) such as Danielle Corsetto of “Girls With Slingshots???, Scott Kurtz of “PvP Online???, Stan Sakai of “Yojimbo???, and James O’Barr, creator of “The Crow???. This year we were seated alongside the likes of Monica Gallagher of “Lipstick Press??? and Brian Cleveinger of “8-bit Theater??? and “Atomic Robo??? fame.

Saturday night, the Staple!’s attending artists put on a live art exhibition at the Club Deville in downtown Austin where they showed off their talents in front of an audience. Once they finished their pieces, they were put up for auction for the charity of keeping KOOP radio, an Austin co-op radio station, up and running. It’s an admirable goal and one that the Crew supports wholeheartedly by purchasing the pieces and drinking heavily at the exhibition… we’re not actually sure how the heavy drinking helps them but we’re doing our part. For charity.

We're fairly certain this is one of the coolest con pics ever...

Sunday saw most of the attendees a bit hungover. There was a lot of charity going on the night before… a lot. We don’t judge. But for the most part, the energy from the prior day was recaptured and everyone was able to enjoy themselves for a second day of the event.

There was plenty of swag to be had at the Crew’s table. The yearly koozie made its appearance and we had sci-fi trivia questions for those who were brave enough to pit their knowledge against ours with a t-shirt as the prize. Hats off to the winners… if I’d been thinking about it, I would have gotten their names to send out some congratulations but I’m certain they will wear their shirts as a badge of honor.

After all was said and done, a good time was had by all. Some of the ladies who honored the Crew’s table were first timers to Staple! and to conventions in general but reported enjoying themselves immensely which is testament to the power of Staple! as opposed to our hosting talents.

We’d like to thank Chris “Uncle Staple” Nicholas for having us out again and to all of our fellow exhibitors for coming out and making the first two day expo one of the best we’ve attended.

Gritskrieg – End of Line

Well, due to some scheduling issues (mainly hangovers and too much late night WoW), we’re a little late on introducing the first Gamette of 2011… an oversight we’d love to apologize for but we think once you meet her, you’ll be willing to let us off the hook.

Little Miss Liv is no stranger to nerdom and professes a love for all things zombie and a distinct desire to run with the Hulk should they ever actually get it together and cause that whole Zombie Apocalypse thing they’ve been plotting for years now.

Harboring a not-so-secret crush for the NES game console and MIDI soundtracks, we’re fairly certain Little Miss Liv is going to blend in just fine with the rest of the geeks… except she’ll be the one sporting the Harley Quinn costume and making it look good.

So, without further ado and just in time to be an early Valentine’s Day gift from us to you, we are proud to introduce our readers to Little Miss Liv.

What is your current favorite game right now?
Well, I currently have 3 favorite games that I have been cracking out on. 1st would be Worms 2: Armageddon. The reason I LOVE this game is because I love blowing worms up and it actually takes some thinking and strategy. Now that being said, I am also completely addicted to Plants VS. Zombies. I don’t know what it is about this game but it is such a happy game! I love the disco zombies!! I would love to dance and eat brains! The last game which I just honestly discovered 2 days ago is ZOMBIES on COD! I LOVE ZOMBIES! I guess I have anger problems or something ’cause I love killing shit.

We hear you like dressing up as comic book and fantasy characters…
I love Harley Quinn, she’s hands down the best! She is the craziest, sexiest FREAK EVER! She is a lot like me (I decided that if I ever have a little girl, I’m naming her Harley Quinn, HAHA). But really I love dressing up like any fantasy or comic book characters. My dream job would be to get paid to go to conventions and dressing up like sexy characters. My life would truly be complete. <3

You get to be someone, real, fictional, or otherwise for one day. Who is it and why?
Michael Jackson, because I like touching little boys, too…. JUST KIDDING! If I could be anyone for a day, I would be Superman! But with tits… so I guess SuperWoman. LOL I think it would be awesome that I could fly anywhere in the world and not have to pay for over priced airplane tickets or go through security check points. Just the fresh air in my face as I fly to a tropical island.

What can the geeky man do to get your attention and keep it?
I love it when guys talk geeky to me. Start talking to me about games or technology and I am hooked. I worked as a tech agent for T-Mobile and then Google for years and was completely in my element there. Tech Geeks EVERYWHERE! It was heaven!

After looking at some of your pics, we have a sudden fondness for fuzzy leg warmers. Is this normal?
Absolutely! ‘Cause I have quite the fondness for them as well .

Complete this thought: “There comes a time in every man’s life when he must…”
“Get belligerently drunk, light his fist on fire with rubbing alcohol, and scream ‘Falcon Punch’ while striking his nemesis in the face.”

Read the full interview & see the complete pictorial with Little Miss Liv here!

Katrina Hill by Jim Brown

We love our movies as much as we love our video games. Since the inception of the site, we’ve tried to show that there are ladies out there with as much love for the geek subculture as any guy might have for it. With one peek at her site, it’s easy to see that Katrina Hill (aka Action Flick Chick) might give us a run for our money when it comes to movies, especially the action genre (ya know, in case you didn’t pick up on that from her nickname).

So when someone suggested that AFC should be a Gamette, it seemed like the only thing to do was see if she was interested and try setting something up. Kat agreed and now you can all see for yourselves that there are women out there who’d rather split some popcorn with you while watching kung fu and explosions on the big screen rather than some dumb movie about a love story that happens on some doomed boat. Hint: It hits an iceberg and sinks.

It is our honor and pleasure to present the original Action Flick Chick, Katrina Hill, as our first December Gamette. By the end of the pictorial, in her own words, you’ll have been kicked in the ass by Action Flick Chick.

You get to pick which apocalypse you’re a survivor of: Zombie, Nuclear, or Fuzzy Kitten. Now tell us why you’d prefer that particular apocalypse, unless it’s the Fuzzy Kitten one at which point we’re going to have to demand you turn in your License to Kick Ass.
Hey! DO NOT underestimate the power of an army of fuzzy kittens! They are only cute for a second…right before they laugh and scratch out your eyes. And, I dare you to try to take my License to Kick Ass. You will have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers .

Why is Tremors your favorite movie?
Tremors has everything: Action, horror, suspense, the film is really funny, has loveable characters, great cast, no CGI, those are real Graboids, and it’s a fun concept. There is a lot of nostalgia attached to Tremors for me as well. I’ve been watching it since I was little. My brothers and I would have the best time jumping around on the living room furniture so that we didn’t get eaten by the Graboids!

Who wins in a fist fight, Corbin Dallas or John McClane?
John McClane! He has been in at least 4 large scale terrorist situations and has taken them down each time. McClane also has more experience with fist fights than Corbin Dallas, who tended to stick with guns. I mean, McClane had to fist-fight Maggie Q! Yeowch!

What one big thing or combination of little things can kill an action movie?
Ridiculous looking CGI.

You’re playing yourself in an action movie. Who’s your leading man and why? I know it’s tempting to say me with my mental flirting but let’s give the other guys a shot.
Well, if I can’t choose you, then I’ll go with Tony Jaa. Wait, Sylvester Stallone…No! Jason Statham! Bruce Willis! Hell, I want them all in my movie!

Read the full interview & see the complete pictorial with Katrina Hill here!

Billy Dee Williams - Wizard World Austin

For those of you not in the know, Austin Texas was invaded this weekend by the largest assortment of nerds, cos-players, science fiction enthusiasts, and comic geeks at this year’s Wizard World Austin Comic Con. The convention was held at Austin’s Convention Center downtown and spanned over 3 days with plenty of ‘nerd-dom’ to spread around, and then some.

Wizard World Austin consisted of tv/film celebrities appearances such as Lee Majors, Ernie Hudson, Adam West, Burt Ward, Lindsey Wagner, Ray Park, Billy Dee Williams, Lou Ferrigno, Gil Gerard, Walter Koenig, WWE’s Kevin Nash and Torrie Wilson, not to mention comic artists James O’Barr, Arthur Suydam and Matthew Sturges – and I reiterate this is only a few from those three categories. It was a lot to take in over the weekend for us fanboys and fangirls (see a complete list here).

Being a major fanboy myself, I find these events mind boggling with so much going on that I literally have to make a written list of things I want to see, attend, ogle over, and of course spend money on. As our weekend team took some time to split up and see the con and wander at our own place, my first observation was that the Austin Con Center was very adequate for this event. With all the attendance, I didn’t have to wade through people to get to see who I wanted to see. The celebrity lines went fast, and were not too long of a wait at all. Most strikingly was the reception of the fans by the guests. Every celeb I spoke to were very easily approachable which can be nerve racking at times. You never want your favorite stars reputation to be blemished by rude behavior toward its audience, who are ultimately the ones who are paying for it (yeah that would be you). The range of prices for personalized autographed photos were $20-$40, not including any photos that you wanted to take.

Back off man, I'm a scientist!

My highlight of the weekend was getting to speak informally with Luciana Carro aka ‘Kat’ from SyFy’s Battlestar Galactica series. After totally geeking out with her about the TV series and obtaining my autographed photo I proceeded to try and ‘over nerd’ myself and remove from my backpack a copy of the new paperback The Science of Battlestar Galactica by Kevin Grazer / Patrick Di Justo (a technical manual written about the series by one of its NASA consultants). Amazingly since the book is very new, she had not received her copy and was delighted to peruse it there with me. Yes with me! When you get to sit and talk sci fi technology with a member of the cast, one on one, in real time, and hear their experiences on the set, stuff that you would only read about – that’s the reason enthusiasts like us storm these cons, (well me anyhow). Luciana was super polite, signed my book, I went on my way with another con experience up there on my list, as again knowing affirmatively, ‘why we do what we do, and why we love doing it’.

We closed out the evening with a Q&A panel lead by Ghostbuster’s Ernie Hudson, followed by a quiet intimate showing of the Ghostbusters movie where we sat alongside several of the members of Texas’ Ghostbuster cosplay fan clubs as they quoted lines along with the film – ‘Aim for the flattop!’.

Overall, Austin provided a great welcoming for the Wizard World show, and we were happy to be able to attend. And magnificent props to those of you who were able to get some photos with our Gamettes Taffeta Darling and Deathwish Dena (pictured above), they did a fantastic job representing with us, and of course it just is never the same doing cons without them! So until the nerds gather in the masses again…

Crutchboy – Out.

Photos by Dave Martindale / www.emptyallegory.com, click below to see more pics of Wizard World Austin!

(more…)

Deathwish Dena - October Gamette 2010

It’s only fair to warn our readers that most of our Gamettes could likely kick your ass. It might be at video games or comic book knowledge but it’s a fair bet that they all have the goods when it comes to getting down and nerdy. It’s also a fair bet that October’s Gamette, Deathwish Dena, could not only out-trivia you in the horror movie genre but would probably put a beatdown on you if you were to take her on while wearing roller skates.

Dena is the kind of girl who can dress sexy one minute and then take to the ring with her skates to put a hip check on you that would have you wondering which way was up. Schooled in the nuances of old school NES gaming, a love of Steampunk, and with a healthy amount of knowledge in regards to the Caped Crusader, Dena is just the type of Gamette we all love to see grace our page.

And so, without further ado, say hello to the sexy skater known as Deathwish Dena.

Tell us why you’re awesome in twenty words or less.
I am the perfect mixture of horror, combat, and fantasy with hours of enticing game play.

Who’s the hottest Batman? Keep in mind we haven’t dressed up as Batman (yet) so the obvious answer is right out.
Well I guess since you have yet to be unmasked as the next Bruce Wayne. For now I will have to go with Christian Bale minus the I am trying to hid who I really am grunt whispers. If he is bringing that to the bedroom I am leaving in a fit of laughter.

You get to be any character *but* Batman. Villain, sidekick, or hero, from the comics or the various movies. Who is it and why?
Two-face. He is human and monster. I love that he can be totally nuts and want to see something get completely destroyed enjoying every minute of it but shed a tear over a lover or friend. Also he goes hand in hand with me being utterly indecisive.

Who shot first?
Deep in my heart I want Han to have shot first. But I think it is more fun for it to be a never ending murder mystery game of Clue. To bad Lucas opened up that manilla envelope and tell us all it was Mr. Green in the Billiards Room with the Pistol.

Tell us what makes a geeky guy sexy. Extra points if you describe us to a tee.
Geek guys who are social are sexy to me. I want some one who wants to go out and do nerdy things, like costume parties, movie premieres, cons, star/ufo
gazing. Also any guy who can teach me ANY new geeky thing makes me smile.

Click here to read Dena’s full interview and see her complete pictorial!

Lhars Steck - BG's PAX Gamette 2010

The time has come for us to introduce you to our PAX Gamette. Yes, we know, we’re big teases, we’ve had her picture up on the sidebar for a month now but we’d like to point you to the first word in our name… Busy. We think you’ll forgive us as soon as you meet this lovely new addition to our Gamettes.

Lhars is a veteran Aion and World of Warcraft player with a wicked sense of humor and a way of making you feel at ease around her almost immediately. When it comes to MMOs (especially WoW), she knows her stuff. After speaking to her for a few minutes about her WoW character, we implemented a “no talking about WoW??? rule that had absolutely nothing to do with her having better gear than us. Really.

So take a few minutes out of your day to welcome Lhars to our site, read her interview, look at her pics, and remember… Her character is way better dressed than yours.

Give us a brief description of how it felt to be chosen as our first official PAX Gamette. We know we’re super awesome so it’s okay to faint a few times while you go over it.
Well uh… /passes out. It’s a super honor and was great to meet the group at such a fun event that I look forward to every year!

We know you’re a huge WoW fan. Tell us about your best WoW moment and your worst WoW moment. Extra points if you shed a tear while writing about either one.
Totally best WoW moments are server first boss kills, nothing feels better than progression before it gets nerfed for everyone else. Or wait… is my favorite moment wiping out a raid of the opposite faction… shit, tough call. Worst, hands down when any of your core people get hacked, especially yourself (or in my case my husband as well). Puts a real damper on things.

What’s your favorite WoW class?
Mage/ Warlock / Boomkin (I’m a DPS junkie)

Is your WoW char’s gear nasty?
She is definitely a nasty girl!!!! But in all honesty gear only goes so far, it comes down to the player themselves. Good player + Little Fire + Heroic DFO = Could probably eat people alive wearing nothing else.

Read Lhars’ full interview and see her pictorial here!

Coming Soon!

News of the new online pay to play social networking service Gamecrush was greeted with eyebrow raising and open mockery by some, yet many gamers themselves were not so skeptical. Within 20 minutes of the official beta launch, the site fell victim to its own instant popularity as thousands of gamers raced to join and ended up crashing the site in spectacular fashion. The fact that the beta was crashed immediately means that, there is definitely a market out there for this kind of service. Assuming that interest holds after the novelty wears off, this market is vastly bigger than even the folks at Gamecrush themselves could have predicted.

When you think about it, it was really only a matter of time before something like Gamecrush came along, offering up a massive directory of women available and willing to be your gaming girl in exchange for some dollars. It’s a story as old as time itself, but rather than start in on all the tired talk about “lonely nerd gamers??? or “Players??? as they are known on Gamecrush, I’m really more curious as to what kind of experience this will be for the ladies of Gamecrush, or “Playdates??? as they are known.

Obviously I had to do some hands on detective work to see for myself just what all the fuss is about. I took a minute to peruse their FAQ section before heading to the PlayDate sign up page. As I read the explanation of what it is, exactly, that this site offers, I am struck yet again by the fact that we are in the year 2010 and to date this is the first pay to play “online adult social gaming site??? in existence. Social networking sites have, since their earliest appearance on the internet, been populated by their fair share of gamers. And of course there are countless gaming related sites with forums available for gamers to connect to other gamers with similar interests all over the world. But when it comes to gaming guys and gals finding each other and forging connections online, there are some major barriers.

It is well established that the Internet makes it easy for people to pass themselves off as someone or something they are not, if they are so inclined. The old adage “once bitten, twice shy??? holds very true in gaming, as it is both general practice and a running joke for people to claim that “girls don’t play video games.??? Many male gamers still react with shock and disbelief and even varying degrees of hostility to those claiming to be female in a game, so entrenched are these perceptions. The advent of audio channels and webcam chat in gaming has made it easy for girls to prove their identity, but once you’ve established that you are in fact female, you may just end up having to defend yourself and your credentials as an actual girl gamer; emphasis on the gamer.

Gamette Jenna Jaguar of www.blackmage.net

In other words, the gaming world seems to be trapped in a vicious cycle: guys think girls don’t play video games, so anyone claiming to be a girl who also loves games must be lying – either they aren’t really a girl or they don’t really love games. Obviously there are a lot of guy gamers who understand that many women love gaming, and who have played games competitively with women on many occasions. The rare nerd even has a girlfriend who plays the occasional game! But in all seriousness, given that knee-jerk suspicion and skepticism toward gamer girls does persist in many forms, through many avenues, I see Gamecrush – and any similar sites in the future, (which will inevitably follow if Gamecrush proves to be a success) as nothing but a positive step.

The simple fact that now there is a place for gamers to go to find other gamers who are by definition not only 100% guaranteed female, but ready and willing to give you their undivided attention and play the game of your choosing with you, means that all of a sudden when they come across a female gamer in the wider world of online gaming and console gaming networks like Xbox Live, it won’t be such a novelty anymore.

Removing the novelty from the idea of girl gamers can only be a good thing. We all know that there are girls who take advantage of the low numbers of women openly active in gaming in order to get loads of attention for themselves. With adult social gaming, both guys and girls who enjoy the flirty and the dirty sides of gaming have a healthy outlet to do so where everything is up front and honest. Since honesty is always the best policy, let’s be clear: yes, absolutely there are gamer guys who are more than a little desperate for some female companionship, and there are gamer girls who are equally desperate for attention. I can’t see any fault in a service which provides people with a consensual means to connect and interact in a positive way that is rewarding for both parties.

Gamecrush has the potential to offer a little something for many in the gaming world, even those who don’t count themselves among those lonely basement dwellers we’ve all heard so much about. There seems little question at this point that adult social gaming is here to stay, and that there is a lot of evolution to come. Since the Game Crush website is currently still offline, only time will tell if the creators of Gamecrush had the right idea in bringing this service to the world.